I had to run to Sam's Club last night to get some moose food for the perpetually hungry moose in our house. It was probably one of the more comical visits to Sam's Club I've had.

First off, don't go at night, or on weekdays. You really should visit Sam's Club (or Price Club/Costco) during the day on the weekend end. Yes, it's crowded. Yes, the checkout lines are long. Yes, parking sucks. But! There's a much better variety of free samples during weekends, and you can practically feed the whole family a well-balanced meal just by going through the different isles.

So anyhow, I'm standing in the checkout line at the local Sam's Club, when a rather nondescript woman comes up behind me with a tire. She sees me watching her and says "I had to get a membership here so I could get this tire. This is the only place that sells my size tire." I thought that rather odd, and noticed the tire itself wasn't anything out of the ordinary. She didn't seem too upset by having to join, she just said it as a simple fact.

While we were there waiting, a young girl, no more than 4, came up and patted the tire and said "Tires are fun!" and took off with it. She was rolling it on down the aisle ahead of her, while the lady and I just sat that there. I started to giggle and the child's dad managed to intercept her and made her bring the tire back. When he got closer, the tire-lady said "Do you go to Patriot Harley Davidson?" He was wearing a Bike Week shirt, so I guess she figured he must be a biker. He said "Pardon me?" She repeated herself by saying "Patriot Harley Davidson?" It was obvious he hadn't heard the first time because he looked at her blankly and shook his head showing he didn't understand. So she repeated herself, this time adding "Do you go there?" He said he'd been there a couple of times. She told him that on Memorial Day he should go down because she was a clown and she spent every Memorial Day down there making balloon animals. He kinda nodded and walked away.

When she turned back to me, I smiled and said "You're a clown? I've probably seen you down there then, as I visit Patriot HD quite a bit."

She said "Professional Clown!" in a rather haughty tone. She paused, and then said "Well, I think I'm more of a Balloon Artist than Professional Clown..."

Ooookay then. Check please?