Looking back on this weekend it seemed I had a lot of stuff going, but it didn’t seem that busy.
Saturday morning I spent at Great Falls Park with the rest of the students from my Photography class. I have a nice camera, and I finally decided I should really learn how to use it, so I took some of the tax money this year and enrolled in a no-credit class. I’ve only had one class and one field trip, but I’ve learned a lot about my camera. We spent the time out at Great Falls taking different pictures of whatever we felt like; we just had to use the select aperture settings and shutter speed assigned by the teacher. I pick up my slides tonight. I’m rather excited to see how they turned out.
The rest of the day was spent getting the top of my poor old bald head fried while waiting to get Sarah’s soccer pictures taken (I thought it was in the gym like last year, but nooooo....), and then Gail and the kids went to the Rainforest Cafe for a birthday party that evening. I hung out with Jeff playing Playstation. Gail and the kids came back later, and more people showed up at Jeff and Marcia’s. The evening progressed into a couple of beer runs, a run to get some food, and me feeling like I’d be better off at home. So I collected the kids, left Gail to chat awhile, and I went home to bed.
Sunday was a nice day so Jeff and I decided to go for a ride on the bikes. Kerry Ann saw us heading out and asked if she could come. She hopped on the back of Jeff’s Vulcan and off we went to West Virginia.
Talk about a beautiful ride. The day was cloudy, and for awhile I thought we might get some rain, but for the most part it held off. The road we took out to West Virginia was a two-lane twister through the Blue Ridge Mountains that was just perfect for a bike. We got to the town of Ranson, WV, and decided to grab a drink and sit for a bit.
Now, here’s where the day became a bit surreal.
As we’re sitting there on the curb enjoying our drinks and talking about nothing in particular, a beat-up old Ford Ranger pulled up and the old-timer driving it hopped out and went into the Quick Mart we’d parked at. His passenger leaned her bleached-strawberry-blonde head out the window and said “Those sure are some pretty bikes! I haven’t been on a motorcycle ride since I was six!” She looked at me and said, “Can you take me for a ride?”
I kinda stuttered a “Well, I don’t have an extra helmet...” as a way of reply.
She turned to Kerry Ann sitting next to me and said “Can I use your helmet?” To which Kerry Ann enthusiastically replied, “Of course!”
As the lady hopped out of the truck, she asked if I was married. I said yup, and Kerry Ann added “She’s a beautiful lady with the skinniest thighs you’ve ever seen.” That remark didn’t even penetrate as she eyed me and gushed, “I just love big men!” Heck, I don’t think she even heard me say that I was married. And if she did, I’m not sure she’d care.
She introduced herself as Sarah, and after our introductions were all made she got Kerry Ann’s helmet on and planted herself on the back of the bike. As I was getting ready to roll out, the old timer she was with came back out of the store with a 12-pack of something alcoholic. He jumped into his truck and took off so fast that Kerry Ann said later that she’d thought he’d never even noticed his passenger was gone. I know he noticed though, ‘cause I saw the look he gave her as she was perched on the back of the bike.
After he’d gone, Sarah and I headed out of the parking lot and cruised down what I took to be the main drag in tiny Ranson. It turns out that she was 22, and the old guy I took to be her dad, was really her husband and 60 years old at that.
But wait. It gets better.
So we’re driving down the road and she starts rubbing my shoulders, gliding her hands from my neck to my arms and says “You have such broad shoulders, I love broad shoulders.” I mumbled some sort of reply. She then ran her hands down my arms and said “You have hairy arms! Are you hairy everywhere else?” I said pretty much.
A little further down the road, with her laughing and talking the whole way, she said “I bet you get all the girls with this bike. Are you married?” Further proof that mine and Kerry Ann’s comments about being married to a gal with skinny thighs went right over that head of hers. “Yes!” I shouted back at her. She giggled and said that I could probably get all sorts of sex with this bike...
So I’m sitting here thinking “Geezus, I’ve gotta get this chick back to her (literally) old man. She’s whacked” I was having visions of me dropping her off at her house and her husband sitting on the front porch with a loaded shotgun just waiting for me to get back.
But oh wait....it gets better.
So we’ve turned around and we’re heading back to her place when she says something that I didn’t catch. I turned my head towards her and said “What?”
She leaned in close to my ear and said “I said I feel privileged to have gone on this ride with you!” and with the word “privileged”, she reached around and squeezed my crotch.
It was all I could do the keep the bike straight.
I must’ve jumped a bit because she took her hand away and laughed, and I gunned the bike down as fast as I could to get her home. We pulled up in front of her house (without a gun-totin’ pissed off husband around, thank God), and she hopped off the bike. After taking her helmet off she said, “Well, now that you know where I live, next time you’re in town you can stop by and visit.” The last was said with a rather mischievous smile, and I’m sure she was talking about more than just popping in for a spot of tea in the afternoon.
I said if I was in town again I’d consider it while I was laughing at myself inside. If I got to Ranson W.V. again this year, it’ll be because I got lost. And I never get lost.
I took the helmet, gave her one last smile and headed back to Jeff and Kerry Ann. I didn’t even bother strapping the helmet down, I just stuck it between my legs and took off. I actually laughed out loud and shook my head at myself while driving along.
When I pulled back into the Quick Mart, Jeff and Kerry Ann where still where I left them. After killing the bike, I told them what happen, and both had a good laugh at my expense. Hell, I had a good laugh at my expense.
We got back to our safe n’ sane neck of the woods about an hour later and dropped Kerry Ann off for her Southern Living party that Gail would be attending. Kerry Ann promised not to tell Gail. Jeff and I then went and saw a movie (Troy, not too bad) and then I headed home.
I told Gail what happened and she had just as good of a laugh as Kerry Ann and Jeff did. Can’t blame her really. She said she was pleased I’d gotten “a little” and that I’d had a good time.
I have the most awesome wife in the world, don’t I? :)
received this last week. I have NO idea wtf I was thinking. I just said the first thing that came to mind with this person im'd me.
I guess everyone needs a bit of surrealism in their lives every now and then...
Juju0284 [2:18 PM]: hi Shad [2:18 PM]: THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE Juju0284 [2:20 PM]: butter Juju0284 [2:20 PM]: ? Juju0284 [2:20 PM]: why Shad [2:20 PM]: OH MY GOD, THERE'S HOT BUTTER ALL OVER MY FACE Shad [2:20 PM]: OW Shad [2:20 PM]: OW Shad [2:20 PM]: OWWWW Juju0284 [2:21 PM]: how did you do Juju0284 [2:21 PM]: to put butter here$ Shad [2:21 PM]: I was pretending my movie bucket of popcorn was a feeding trough and I buried my face in it Shad [2:21 PM]: NOW I HAVE HOT MELTED BUTTER ON MY FACE Juju0284 [2:24 PM]: a lot Shad [2:24 PM]: whew Well, it was a lot. It's all gone now Shad [2:24 PM]: I had my dog lick it all off Juju0284 [2:24 PM]: lol Juju0284 [2:24 PM]: ok Juju0284 [2:25 PM]: and you are fine Shad [2:25 PM]: well, sure it's just hot butter. Shad [2:25 PM]: women in hollywood pay big bucks for that kind of treatment in a salon Juju0284 [2:26 PM]: ok Juju0284 [2:26 PM]: but you didn t pay Juju0284 [2:27 PM]: what was the film Shad [2:27 PM]: No film. I just had a movie bucket of popcorn Juju0284 [2:28 PM]: ok Shad [2:28 PM]: Don't you? Shad [2:28 PM]: I thought everyone had a movie bucket sized popcorn in their house Shad [2:29 PM]: aw, man! Shad [2:29 PM]: my ice cream has no bones!!! Shad [2:29 PM]: DANGIT! Juju0284 [2:29 PM]: lol Shad [2:29 PM]: who the heck sells ice cream with no bones nowadays?! Shad [2:30 PM]: now I can't eat the end bits without getting all messy Juju0284 [2:31 PM]: ok Juju0284 [2:32 PM]: ok ok Shad [2:32 PM]: ok what? Juju0284 [2:32 PM]: what time is it in your country Juju0284 [2:32 PM]: please Juju0284 [2:32 PM]: ok of wat you say Shad [2:32 PM]: Time for Lunch! Shad [2:32 PM]: no, wait Shad [2:32 PM]: Afternoon snack! Shad [2:33 PM]: 'cept my ice cream has no bones to hold on to and the butter is still too hot Juju0284 [2:34 PM]: lol Juju0284 [2:34 PM]: the butter was very hot so Juju0284 [2:37 PM]: ;-)
Yungromeo200 (4:13 PM): hello Yungromeo200 (4:13 PM): I know you Shad (4:13 PM): No you don't Yungromeo200 (4:13 PM): From College Shad (4:14 PM): No, you don't... Yungromeo200 (4:14 PM): DON'T TALK TO ME THEN Shad (4:14 PM): I won't. Yungromeo200 (4:14 PM): BYEEEE Shad (4:14 PM): Bye Yungromeo200 (4:15 PM): FAG Shad (4:15 PM): If you want me to stop talking to you, you'll have to stop as well Shad (4:15 PM): otherwise, I'll just keep responding Shad (4:15 PM): and "fag" deserves at least three extra lines Yungromeo200 (4:15 PM): WHAT?? Shad (4:15 PM): What, can't read that well? Yungromeo200 (4:16 PM): SHUT UP STUPID Shad (4:16 PM): Woo...big words. Did you learn that all by yourself? Yungromeo200 (4:16 PM): STUPID Shad (4:16 PM): I know you are but what am I? Yungromeo200 (4:16 PM): A FAGOT Shad (4:17 PM): I know you are but what am I? Yungromeo200 (4:17 PM): A 1ST GRADER Shad (4:18 PM): I know you are but what am I? Shad (4:18 PM): I can do this all day if you want Yungromeo200 (4:18 PM): A BIA BIA Shad (4:18 PM): Bia bia? What might that be? Shad (4:20 PM): Bureau of Indian Affairs? Yungromeo200 (4:20 PM): F**** U U RACES Shad (4:20 PM): Bloated Icelandic Apes? Shad (4:21 PM): Bitchy Itchy Armadillo's? Shad (4:23 PM): Hello? Shad (4:23 PM): Awww....don't you wanna play this game anymore?
babi0660 [5:10 AM]: hey who is this? Shad [5:10 AM]: This is Shad! Who is this? babi0660 [5:11 AM]: this is bow wow... r u serious Shad [5:11 AM]: Dude, of course this is....what, you think I don't know how to do the internet? babi0660 [5:12 AM]: can i have ur cell # Shad [5:13 AM]: Ok, I'll give you one, but don't give this out.... babi0660 [5:13 AM]: k Shad [5:13 AM]: 202-456-1111 -- This is my mom's...I gotta sign off, talk to ya on cell soon
You've seen the the people I'm talking about; the idiots who feel the need to drive while talking animatedly on the phone, or who are trying to eat. Women who put on makeup, men who shave. I've seen both in the last week. Nothing irritates me more than idiots in the driver's seat.
Yesterday, however, I was the idiot.
I'm not sure where my head got off to, but it certainly wasn't on my shoulders as I was heading home. As the weather has been absolutely gorgeous here the past week, I've been riding the bike to work every day. As a motorcyclist in an urban environment, I am very attentive when driving. I watch everyone and everything, constantly. It's the only way you can survive the blacktop chaos that is rush hour in these parts.
Yesterday was not my day though. Coming out of the parking lot at work, I got annoyed at the line trying to get out, and cut through the line of cars and then cut some poor lady off as she was making a right. After realizing that, I told myself to knock it off, and just drive.
Then as I was heading up Rt. 28, I found myself in the type of situation I usually try to avoid. I was in the center lane with an SUV on the left of me, and one on the right. And there I was, like an idiot, coasting along right in their blind spots. The SUV on the left made to turn into the center lane, and I goosed the throttle, not only getting ahead of them, but making the pipes rap a bit so she knew I was there. After I was in front of her, I just shook my head in a kind of "Geez yer dumb" way.
But it wasn't all her fault. Yes, she should've looked over her shoulder to check, but what the hell was I doing sitting there in the first place? I know better than that. So the "Geez yer dumb" shake of the head was repeated, this time aimed at myself.
I made sure I paid extra attention on the way to work this morning. It's stupid stuff like that that will get a motorcyclist killed, so all senses were at 100% this morning. I got my comeuppance though: I had an asshole in a BMW cut me off, missing my front fender by about 2 feet. I gave him a justified "Geez yer dumb" shake of the head this time.
So to all those riding the cycle today, be careful out there. And to those of you in cages....you be careful too!
Instead of Dipset204, this person should've picked DipShit204...
Dipset204 [4:57 PM]: stups Dipset204 [4:57 PM]: ur mental Dipset204 [4:57 PM]: smart Shad [4:57 PM]: I'm mental? at least when I IM someone out of the blue, I'm somewhat more coherant than you are Dipset204 [4:58 PM]: dats wasnt me jack Dipset204 [4:58 PM]: dat was my friend Dipset204 [4:58 PM]: now ur feelin burnt Shad [4:58 PM]: No, not at all... Dipset204 [4:59 PM]: shut up and get out of my life b4 i tell my mom Shad [5:00 PM]: Who's in WHOSE life? Dipset204 [5:00 PM]: nm stop talkin 2 me im gettin daddy brb Dipset204 [5:00 PM]: what are you saying Dipset204 [5:00 PM]: this is his dad Shad [5:01 PM]: Haha...oh yeah? Shad [5:01 PM]: prove it Dipset204 [5:01 PM]: how can i Shad [5:01 PM]: how old are you? Dipset204 [5:01 PM]: who are you Dipset204 [5:02 PM]: 34 Shad [5:02 PM]: So quick what year were you born? Shad [5:02 PM]: and what month? Shad [5:02 PM]: too late Dipset204 [5:02 PM]: why do you want to know that Dipset204 [5:03 PM]: bye then Shad [5:04 PM]: bye! Dipset204 [5:05 PM]: dont im me Shad [5:05 PM]: I won't if you stop IM'ing me. Dipset204 [5:05 PM]: shut up Shad [5:05 PM]: No! You shut up! Dipset204 [5:06 PM]: wanna b Shad [5:06 PM]: wanna b? Be all you can b? Dipset204 [5:07 PM]: shut upppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp Dipset204 [5:07 PM]: u r a yung n Shad [5:07 PM]: That's a lot of p's Shad [5:07 PM]: Not as young as you Dipset204 [5:08 PM]: u dont no my age old geeser Shad [5:08 PM]: First I'm a "yung n" then I'm an old geeser...make up your mind Dipset204 [5:08 PM]: make up ur face Shad [5:09 PM]: Are you stoned? Shad [5:09 PM]: drunk? Shad [5:09 PM]: or just stupid? Dipset204 [5:09 PM]: im dissin u 2 hard i gotta Shad [5:09 PM]: I'm guessing C. Just stupid Dipset204 [5:09 PM]: im tellin Shad [5:09 PM]: do I win a prize? Dipset204 [5:09 PM]: u retard u actin made yung to b an old geeser Dipset204 [5:10 PM]: sorry 4 sayin bad things Shad [5:10 PM]: I might be an old geezer, but at least I can friggin type a sentence in the English language. Shad [5:10 PM]: and bad things? Shad [5:10 PM]: what bad things have you said? Dipset204 [5:11 PM]: im tryin 2 b polite but 4get u Dipset204 [5:11 PM]: nerd Shad [5:12 PM]: OH. MY. GOD Shad [5:12 PM]: What did you just call me!?!? Shad [5:12 PM]: a NERD? Shad [5:12 PM]: DAMN YOU! Shad [5:12 PM]: DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!! Dipset204 [5:12 PM]: my own sista is treatin me like di Shad [5:12 PM]: Like a dipset? Shad [5:12 PM]: :) Dipset204 [5:12 PM]: u r my sis rite Shad [5:12 PM]: Erm. No Dipset204 [5:12 PM]: ooo Dipset204 [5:12 PM]: sry i thought u was Shad [5:13 PM]: You thought I was your sister? Shad [5:13 PM]: this whole time? Shad [5:13 PM]: HAHAHAHAHA Dipset204 [5:13 PM]: yes Shad [5:13 PM]: Nope Shad [5:13 PM]: sorry Dipset204 [5:13 PM]: my sis got a sn jus like dis Shad [5:13 PM]: Not "just" like this, trust me Shad [5:13 PM]: it might be similiar Shad [5:13 PM]: but not this Shad [5:15 PM]: well, this has been amusing. I'll have to save this and share it with all my friends... Shad [5:15 PM]: ...but for now, it's time to go home. Have a good evening. :)
...but not all is hopeless...at least this guy was kinda cool....
Pbrenbren43: hi good looking Shad: Hey sexy Shad: Question for you... Shad: who are you? Pbrenbren43: k Pbrenbren43: met u 1970 Pbrenbren43: round march Shad: oh yeah? Shad: let's see...1970...in March.... Shad: I was about 3 months old! Shad: no wonder I don't remember you! Pbrenbren43: yes i know i changed your shitty diapers Shad: Awesome Pbrenbren43: look at the name closer Pbrenbren43: :-* Shad: ::: peers in ::: Shad: nope, this ain my mom's screen name Pbrenbren43: not my moms either or my sisters Shad: And I'd be shocked if my dad ever got online. Can't think of who else might've changed my diaper... Pbrenbren43: lier Shad: So! ok, I give, who are you that you've changed my diapers? Pbrenbren43: your pink ammies and binky was cute but not at age 6 Shad: I had pink jammies? Pbrenbren43: whos your favorite sister Shad: It was SO long ago, I can't remember... Shad: My favorite sister? I have a step sister that I see around Thanksgiving usually... Pbrenbren43: u better be kidding or iv got the wrongfernandez Shad: Who the hell is fernandez? Pbrenbren43: o i need to feel dooped Shad: You need to feel dooped? What's dooped feel like? Shad: oh! duped, nevermind, got it Pbrenbren43: sorry whats your whole screen Pbrenbren43: im new at this Pbrenbren43: help Shad: My whole screen name is Shad. Pbrenbren43: my baby brother was born 1970 of march i thought id found him at last i apologize Shad: Nope, sorry...I was born in 1969, and I'm the oldest Pbrenbren43: his name is shad el fernandez Pbrenbren43: O:-) Pbrenbren43: im the oldest 1960 Shad: Well, hope you find him then...and glad to know there's more Shad's out there Pbrenbren43: me to ill find him some day Pbrenbren43: by for now good looking your friend sexy Shad: hahaha...
My days are never boring when I get IM's, I'll tell ya that...
Funny thing is, he didn't seem to realize we talked yesterday...
Madhopz127 (3:57 PM): hi. Shad (3:58 PM): hey Madhopz127 (3:58 PM): remeber me? Shad (3:58 PM): how could I forget. You're the Silent Hill stalker Madhopz127 (3:58 PM): o.k......................whatever? Madhopz127 (4:00 PM): hello? Shad (4:00 PM): hi again. Madhopz127 (4:00 PM): so............asl again? Shad (4:00 PM): dude, I'm 34 Shad (4:00 PM): you're 14 Shad (4:01 PM): we discussed all this yeseterday Madhopz127 (4:01 PM): 34! That'z kewl, and I forgot. Madhopz127 (4:01 PM): yesterday. Madhopz127 (4:01 PM): Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): hello, again? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): ayt? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): fine! Shad (4:05 PM): dude Shad (4:05 PM): you have a problem Shad (4:05 PM): you need to see a doctor about that Madhopz127 (4:05 PM): why? Madhopz127 (4:05 PM): you dont respond, like ever? Shad (4:05 PM): someone doesn't answer you within .5 seconds and it's ayt? ayt? ayt?? Shad (4:06 PM): ever think that I might actually be DOING something other than sit her waiting to talk to you? Madhopz127 (4:06 PM): like what? Shad (4:06 PM): hrm. I'm 34. What do you THINK I might be doing? Shad (4:06 PM): Perhaps...oh, let's see... Shad (4:06 PM): WORKING?? Madhopz127 (4:06 PM): what do you do? Shad (4:06 PM): I work for AOL Madhopz127 (4:06 PM): no way?! Shad (4:07 PM): Actually...don't tell anyone this but I'm really Lil Bow Wow... Shad (4:07 PM): My real name is Shad Moss Shad (4:07 PM): that's how I got this screen name Shad (4:07 PM): and I'm 15 Shad (4:07 PM): but I got me a phat ride already for when I turn 16 Madhopz127 (4:07 PM): Shad (4:07 PM): or maybe I'm working for the FBI Shad (4:08 PM): and I sit here waiting for kids to IM me...kids who should be DOING THEIR HOMEWORK Shad (4:08 PM): that's why this country is going to hell...All the kids are online, and they're not doing their homework Madhopz127 (4:08 PM): you didnt even sound like you were 30....................your a bad liar. Madhopz127 (4:08 PM): it'z my spring break. Shad (4:08 PM): Then why aren't you outside enjoying the freedom? Madhopz127 (4:09 PM): it'z raining............. Shad (4:09 PM): Is there some reason you have to spell it's with a z? Shad (4:09 PM): I mean, is it that much extra effort to move your finger up that half inch to the S key? Madhopz127 (4:10 PM): not really.............juzt my signature, ya know? Shad (4:10 PM): Shouldn't that be zignature? Shad (4:10 PM): if that's the case? Shad (4:10 PM): zhouldn't all your wordz have the z and not the s? Shad (4:11 PM): I could be Zhad... Shad (4:11 PM): that'd be kinda cool Shad (4:11 PM): Zhad the FBI Bow Wow AOL employee...with ma fat ridez Madhopz127 (4:11 PM): i guezz they zhould be that way, it iz kewl iznt it, Zhad? Madhopz127 (4:12 PM): ** Madhopz127 (4:12 PM): what type of ride? Madhopz127 (4:13 PM): i'm gettin' a mustang with a 27 inch t.v and playstation for 9,000 when I turn 16, and you? Shad (4:13 PM): I got me a pimpin' gremlin Shad (4:13 PM):http://images.forbes.com/images/2002/10/18/gremlin.jpg check out that bad boy Madhopz127 (4:14 PM): ha-ha. I hope your kiddin'! Shad (4:14 PM): Actually this is my gremlin -- http://www.ibradburn.com/images/animals/gremlin.jpg Madhopz127 (4:15 PM): thatz krunk! Madhopz127 (4:15 PM): yeah right! Madhopz127 (4:15 PM): krunk is the German word for sick................ Shad (4:15 PM): What the hell do you need a 27in tv in a mustang for? Madhopz127 (4:16 PM): I dont know, but who carez, itz awesome! Shad (4:16 PM): That'd be Krank btw, not krunk Shad (4:17 PM): krank is german for sick Madhopz127 (4:17 PM): Itz already got NAS canisters in it! 4! Aint that crazy! Madhopz127 (4:17 PM): krunk! Shad (4:17 PM): more to the point then...WHERE the hell do you put a 27in tv in a mustang? Shad (4:17 PM): take it you don't want to be able to take friends along for a ride? Madhopz127 (4:18 PM): what? Shad (4:18 PM): Where does the TV go? Shad (4:18 PM): in the back seat? Madhopz127 (4:18 PM): back.trunk. Shad (4:18 PM): it'll take up the entire front seat Shad (4:18 PM): Now what's the purpose of putting a TV in the trunk? Madhopz127 (4:19 PM): with the sound system for tail gate parties and all, ya know? Madhopz127 (4:19 PM): g2g,lata,much ! Shad (4:19 PM): Tell ya what, you get me a picture of this 27in TV/4NOS/Mustang car of yours, and I'll believe you. Otherwise, I'll have to call you full of crap Madhopz127 (4:20 PM): i scan it and all and show it to you later,g2g for now,later!
Madhopz127 (3:43 PM): I need help! Shad (3:44 PM): We all do! Madhopz127 (3:44 PM): with silent hill................ Madhopz127 (3:44 PM): not my mind! Shad (3:44 PM): There's a trick to silent hill... Shad (3:44 PM): you have to be very... Shad (3:44 PM): ...very... Shad (3:44 PM): ...quiet Madhopz127 (3:44 PM): I know that................ Shad (3:44 PM): SHH! Madhopz127 (3:44 PM): k................... Shad (3:45 PM): quiet as a hunter hunting a wascaly wabbit Madhopz127 (3:45 PM): how old are you? Shad (3:45 PM): Geez! You keep making all this noise, and you'll NEVER get anywhere in Silent Hill!!! Now BE QUIET!!! Shad (3:45 PM): There, are you happy? Now you've got me shouting Madhopz127 (3:45 PM): you be quiet! Madhopz127 (3:46 PM): your strategy on cheat planet isnt that great,ya know. Shad (3:46 PM): If we're both vewy vewy qwiet, we should be able to see that wascely wabbit up on Silent Hill Madhopz127 (3:46 PM): what? Shad (3:47 PM): You can't cheat when hunting wabbits!!! Shad (3:47 PM): What are you tawking abowt??? Madhopz127 (3:47 PM): you seriously need some help. Shad (3:48 PM): Yes! Now, you grab the shotgun shells, I'll get my wabbit catching net, and we'll get that wascely wabbit!!! Tally ho!!! Shad (3:48 PM): I'm a wabbit swayer....guitar pwayer....with a nasty habbit....KILL THE WABBIT!!!! Madhopz127 (3:48 PM): "He's going in the hole!" Shad (3:49 PM): stop him Stop Him STOP HIM!!!!! Shad (3:49 PM): damn that wabbit and his holes!!! Madhopz127 (3:49 PM): "He's wearing a drezz, now." Shad (3:50 PM): ::: gets all gooey eyed, big hearts for pupils, with his heart pounding out of his chest ::: Shad (3:50 PM): ACK Shad (3:50 PM): damn that wabbit! Shad (3:51 PM): Pwaying with my emotions!!! Shad (3:51 PM): Mein Liben! Shad (3:51 PM): erm...ignore that Madhopz127 (3:51 PM): k.................. Shad (3:51 PM): ::: fires his shotgun ::: Shad (3:51 PM): Bwast you to smithereens wabbit!!!! Madhopz127 (3:51 PM): ::::fires his dual uzi's::::: Shad (3:52 PM): Now THAT'S some firepower! Shad (3:52 PM): rat-tat-at-ta-ta-ta-ta!!! Shad (3:52 PM): take that wabbit! Shad (3:52 PM): So much for silent hill being silent! Madhopz127 (3:53 PM): ::::and whipz out an old German Ruger and light'z that "wabbitz" ass up!::::: Madhopz127 (3:53 PM): ::::It aint wabbit season no more, bitch!::::: Madhopz127 (3:54 PM): ::::ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-::::HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::: Shad (3:54 PM): I am shocked! nay, appauled at your dirty, foul language!!! Shad (3:54 PM): You kiss your mother with that mouth!? Madhopz127 (3:55 PM): sorry, lost myself. Shad (3:56 PM): I can't play with you anymore Madhopz127 (3:56 PM): why? Shad (3:56 PM): You used bad words Madhopz127 (3:56 PM): mom said so? Madhopz127 (3:56 PM): ha-ha! Shad (3:56 PM): I'm not allowed to play with kids who use bad words. My mommy said so, yes. Madhopz127 (3:57 PM): ha-ha. That is some serious "poop"! Madhopz127 (3:57 PM): "silent hill". Shad (3:58 PM): SHH! Shad (3:58 PM): Be vewy vewy qwiet.. Madhopz127 (3:58 PM): you are really, really weird! Shad (4:01 PM): Thank you. I try to make everyone who IM's me out of the blue have a sureal day. Madhopz127 (4:01 PM): oh................. Madhopz127 (4:01 PM): k................. Madhopz127 (4:01 PM): you made me think you were some type of freak.............. Shad (4:02 PM): What makes you think I'm not? Madhopz127 (4:03 PM): true........................I guess I HAVE TO TAKE A CHANCE. Shad (4:03 PM): Boy, you're a wild one... Shad (4:03 PM): Like living on the edge, do you? Madhopz127 (4:04 PM): yep........thats me...............Wild thing.LOL! Madhopz127 (4:06 PM): hello? Shad (4:07 PM): Sorry. Got that song stuck in my head and I had to go air guitar for a bit Madhopz127 (4:07 PM): you play guiter? Shad (4:08 PM): Just air guitar Shad (4:08 PM): But I jam like no one else on my air guitar Madhopz127 (4:08 PM): I play acostic guiter, air guiter, and bass. Shad (4:09 PM): You must be quite the stud Madhopz127 (4:10 PM): you a chic? Shad (4:12 PM): After I'm all dressed up I am... Madhopz127 (4:12 PM): what? Are you a drag.............? Shad (4:13 PM): Do you want me to be? Shad (4:13 PM): I could be for a stud like you... Madhopz127 (4:14 PM): not really........................but thanx for the offer, I guezz.LOL! Shad (4:15 PM): heh...ok, maybe not Madhopz127 (4:15 PM): are you really? Shad (4:15 PM): Oh, and in case you were still wondering, I haven't a frigging clue about what you were talking about with the Silent Hill stuff. And no, I'm not. Madhopz127 (4:16 PM): you subbmitted the strategy guide to cheat planet? Shad (4:16 PM): No sireebob. Shad (4:16 PM): Someone else using the same name maybe Shad (4:16 PM): but I don't even play Silent Hill Madhopz127 (4:17 PM): oh.............do you know what it is? Shad (4:17 PM): It's a FPS type of game, right? Madhopz127 (4:17 PM): nope. Madhopz127 (4:17 PM): 3rd person. Madhopz127 (4:17 PM): scariest game ever! Shad (4:18 PM): Oh, ok. Shad (4:18 PM): I don't play many computer games Madhopz127 (4:18 PM): video gamez. Madhopz127 (4:19 PM): American chopperz is cool! Shad (4:20 PM): Yes, yes it is... Madhopz127 (4:21 PM): so ASL? Shad (4:21 PM): Hehe...you know, I usually ignore people who ASL me...but because you're STILL here after all that weirdness I spouted up there, I almost feel like you've earned it... Shad (4:22 PM): ...almost... Madhopz127 (4:22 PM): great............. Shad (4:22 PM): how old are you....15? 16? Madhopz127 (4:23 PM): 14........................ Shad (4:23 PM): I was close Shad (4:23 PM): I'm 20 frigging years.... Shad (4:23 PM): OLDER than you dude Shad (4:23 PM): Madhopz127 (4:23 PM): im me later. Madhopz127 (4:24 PM): g2g. Madhopz127 (4:24 PM): later.peace out! Shad (4:24 PM): no, I won't be IM'ing you... Shad (4:24 PM): too weird Shad (4:24 PM): bye Madhopz127 (4:24 PM): why? Shad (4:24 PM): Dude, you're 14...I'm 34. I could probably get arrested for that!
Dipset204 (8:28 AM): hi dyamon Dipset204 (8:29 AM): u there Dipset204 (8:29 AM): Shad (8:29 AM): This isn't dyamon Dipset204 (8:29 AM): who is it Shad (8:29 AM): My name is Shad Dipset204 (8:30 AM): bowwow Shad (8:30 AM): no Dipset204 (8:30 AM): ok Dipset204 (8:30 AM): u r old rite Shad (8:31 AM): older than you, yes Dipset204 (8:31 AM): u dont no my age Shad (8:31 AM): I know you're younger than me Dipset204 (8:31 AM): how u kno Shad (8:31 AM): b cause I dont type like dis Shad (8:31 AM): I use WHOLE words Dipset204 (8:32 AM): ok Dipset204 (8:32 AM): are u in ur 20s Shad (8:32 AM): no Dipset204 (8:32 AM): 14 Shad (8:33 AM): I would've guessed you were closer to 12, but I guess I can believe you're 14 Dipset204 (8:33 AM): ok wut is ur age Shad (8:34 AM): 34 Dipset204 (8:34 AM): g2g Dipset204 (8:34 AM): 1 Shad (8:34 AM): Naturally Dipset204 (8:34 AM): r u serious Shad (8:35 AM): serious that I'm 34? Shad (8:35 AM): Yes. Shad (8:35 AM): I'm bald and fat too. Dipset204 (8:36 AM): ok i cant talk 2 u Shad (8:36 AM): But I think I look good for a 34 year old woman Dipset204 (8:36 AM): ur a gurl Shad (8:36 AM): I'm a WOMAN! Shad (8:36 AM): Alllll woman baby Shad (8:36 AM): minus the hair of course Shad (8:36 AM): that couldn't be helped. Odd accident between what I thought was the shampoo bottle and a bottle of Nair. But I'm silky smooth allll over now... Dipset204 (8:37 AM): im out i cant talk 2 older people Shad (8:37 AM): well then have a nice day. Dipset204 (8:37 AM): u to Dipset204 (8:37 AM): 1 Shad (8:37 AM): bye sugar! Dipset204 (8:37 AM): 1
Why is it I can go weeks without getting a single weird IM, then suddenly they just start popping out of the woodwork?
Ah well. Vulgar language ahead :)
Shadman52889 (12:23:19 AM): hey! Shadman52889 (12:24:04 AM): asshole Shadman52889 (12:24:12 AM): talk to me pussy Shad (12:24:13 AM): name calling now, are we? Shadman52889 (12:24:21 AM): yes Shad (12:24:31 AM): Whatever floats your boat Shadman52889 (12:25:28 AM): fuck you! Shad (12:25:46 AM): Oh yeah? Well...you mother wears Army boots! Shad (12:25:48 AM): so there! Shadman52889 (12:26:00 AM): qweer Shad (12:26:16 AM): Would you at least SPELL it correctly? Shadman52889 (12:26:17 AM): that is stupid Shadman52889 (12:26:24 AM): no Shad (12:26:33 AM): what, and spelling it qweer isn't stupid? Shadman52889 (12:26:47 AM): nope Shadman52889 (12:27:03 AM): but you are Shad (12:27:14 AM): I know you are but what am I? Shadman52889 (12:28:24 AM): you are insane Shad (12:28:49 AM): All the world's crazy but me and thee, and I'm not so sure about thee... Shadman52889 (12:30:06 AM): yui pui tui flui Shad (12:30:42 AM): What happened to qwerty berty jerky curses? Shadman52889 (12:30:45 AM): i cursed you Shadman52889 (12:32:04 AM): are you jerking off i never said jerky Shadman52889 (12:32:25 AM): idiot Shad (12:32:36 AM): derky? Shadman52889 (12:32:40 AM): hahaha!!! Shad (12:32:40 AM): lerky? Shad (12:32:44 AM): perky! Shadman52889 (12:33:00 AM): herty Shadman52889 (12:33:47 AM): what are you, and imbosole? Shadman52889 (12:34:49 AM): fuck you Shad (12:35:22 AM): an imbecile? Is that what you meant to type? Shad (12:35:38 AM): Considering you can't even spell the word, I guess that'd make YOU the imbecile, eh? Shadman52889 (12:37:23 AM): are you sure about that Shadman52889 (12:37:33 AM): huh Shadman52889 (12:37:37 AM): huh Shadman52889 (12:37:39 AM): huh Shad (12:37:50 AM): ayup...pretty sure... Shadman52889 (12:37:54 AM): jackass Shad (12:38:16 AM): yup...still sure Shadman52889 (12:38:53 AM): ayup...pretty sure... shithole Shadman52889 (12:39:13 AM): Shadman52889 [9:39 PM]: jackass Shad [9:39 PM]: yup...still sure Shadman52889 (12:39:39 AM): your lying Shad (12:39:44 AM): Oh, the old "cut & paste" skill...most impressive... Shadman52889 (12:40:30 AM): you need to shut you fat mouth,O kay!!!!! Shad (12:40:44 AM): or...what? Shad (12:40:48 AM): You'll kick my ass? Shad (12:40:58 AM): Look! I'm trembling in my boots! Shadman52889 (12:41:07 AM): no ill kill you!! Shadman52889 (12:41:16 AM): hahaha Shadman52889 (12:41:20 AM): :( Shad (12:41:21 AM): Wow...kill?! WOW! Shad (12:41:58 AM): You're like...super hardcore...you skipped right over the kicking ass phase, and went right to the KILL phase..that's like jumping over the double-dog-dare and going straight for the TRIPLE-DOG-DARE!!! Shad (12:42:04 AM): Man...you don't mess around, do you... Shadman52889 (12:43:01 AM): im right behid you Shadman52889 (12:43:20 AM): you looked dident you Shadman52889 (12:43:27 AM): lol Shadman52889 (12:43:39 AM): stupid Shad (12:43:41 AM): No, but I did get tense...I figured you might be liking my butt, and thinking naughty things about it... Shad (12:45:21 AM): You're still checking out my butt, aren't you.... Shadman52889 (12:45:57 AM): zzzzzzzzzzz you are so boring im geting sleepy bye asshole Shadman52889 (12:46:24 AM): yui Shad (12:46:33 AM): mui bui! Shadman52889 (12:46:45 AM): zzzzzzzzzzz Shad (12:46:47 AM): ha! Finished the curse before you did Shadman52889 (12:46:47 AM): zzzzzzzzzzzzzz Shadman52889 (12:46:49 AM): zzzzzzzzzz Shadman52889 (12:46:50 AM): zzzzzz Shadman52889 (12:46:51 AM): zzzzzzzz Shadman52889 (12:47:36 AM): i wasent curseing you idiot!! Shad (12:47:52 AM): Mui bui yui gui!!! Shad (12:47:55 AM): hahaha! Shadman52889 (12:49:20 AM): feeling kind of stupid right now considering that i wasnt cursing you i was just typing letters!!!! Shadman52889 (12:49:41 AM): hahahaha!!! Shad (12:49:44 AM): And I wasn't? Shad (12:49:52 AM): Hey, I thought you were going to bed? Shadman52889 (12:49:55 AM): ????? Shadman52889 (12:50:13 AM): no i was just messing with you!!!! Shad (12:50:26 AM): what?! MESSING WITH ME?! Shad (12:50:29 AM): oh my god Shad (12:50:32 AM): I feel so used... Shadman52889 (12:51:01 AM): im evil Shadman52889 (12:51:11 AM): you are too Shadman52889 (12:51:17 AM): Change Your Password Shadman52889 (12:51:29 AM): bitch Shad (12:51:46 AM): sniff and here I thought we had something special...something meaningful...only to realize that you're nothing but a mean, spiteful, evil person who just uses other people! Shadman52889 (12:52:39 AM): hell yeah its the truth!!! Shadman52889 (12:52:46 AM): Shad (12:53:09 AM): Sorry...but I just can't go on with this kind of relationship... Shadman52889 (12:53:14 AM): i own you now Shad (12:53:17 AM): But we can still be friends, right? Shadman52889 (12:54:03 AM): i love you! Shadman52889 (12:54:24 AM): fuck me!!!!! Shadman52889 (12:54:37 AM): now!! Shadman52889 (12:54:45 AM): ;) Shad (12:54:58 AM): sorry...I want to be romanced first. Shadman52889 (12:55:28 AM): Get some Help Shadman52889 (12:55:56 AM): you seriosly need it Shad (12:55:58 AM): I want flowers Shadman52889 (12:56:29 AM): you want help Shad (12:56:41 AM): And chocolates Shadman52889 (12:57:08 AM): and by help i mean tharapy Shad (12:57:45 AM): And a cute pink teddybear that says "I wuv you!"...that's romantic... Shadman52889 (12:57:51 AM): 69 69 69 69 Shadman52889 (12:58:14 AM): xxx Shadman52889 (12:58:31 AM): xoxoxo Shadman52889 (12:59:48 AM): lets break up Shadman52889 (12:59:57 AM): 8-) Shad (1:00:09 AM): I'm already seeing someone else anyways... Shadman52889 (1:00:16 AM): fear me hahahahaha!!! Shadman52889 (1:02:07 AM): im the devil and imgoing to shove my pitchfork up your ass Shad (1:02:58 AM): Yeah yeah yeah.... Shadman52889 (1:03:03 AM): why do you smell like shit? Shad (1:03:05 AM): I'm going to have to let you go now... Shad (1:03:13 AM): you're getting boring...starting to repeat yourself... Shad (1:03:22 AM): I'm going to go find someone new and exciting to play with! Shad (1:03:25 AM): Good night! Shadman52889 (1:04:01 AM): i wipe my ass with $100 bills Auto response from Shad (1:04:01 AM): I am away from my computer right now. Shadman52889 (1:04:11 AM): im the devil and imgoing to shove my pitchfork up your assim the devil and imgoing to shove my pitchfork up your ass
--10 minutes later... ---
Shadman52889 (1:14:49 AM): its me again Shadman52889 (1:20:46 AM): hi Shadman52889 (1:20:52 AM): hi Shadman52889 (1:25:41 AM): hey Shadman52889 (1:25:59 AM): im sorry Shad (1:29:21 AM): Bhahahaha!!! You APOLOGIZED!!! Shad (1:29:23 AM): Looser Shad (1:29:39 AM): have a nice evening!
